DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who's a high school junior, and I have a lot of friends, some who are girls, of course, but a few are guys who are close friends in a nonromantic way.

One of my best girlfriends lives in a house that has a hot tub, or what she calls a Jacuzzi. Sometimes on the weekend, she will invite a lot of her friends over, and usually six to eight of us will hang out in the Jacuzzi for a few hours and tell stories and laugh and just basically hang out together.

Nothing ever happens, and nothing is untoward in any way, because we're all simply friends and all there together. Well, somehow through the grapevine, my father heard about this, and now he's telling me that he doesn't want me hanging out in a hot tub if there are going to be guys in it too. My mother actually defended me, but my father told me he didn't think it was a good idea.

Do you think this is a big deal or not? My friend's parents are always there, and in fact they often bring us snacks and drinks while we're hanging out in the Jacuzzi. Do you agree with my father or my mother here? — It's Really No Big Deal, via email

IT'S REALLY NO BIG DEAL: I tend to agree more with your mother's opinion than your father's in this particular situation. However, one of the best ways you could get him to perhaps relax and not be as concerned would be to mention that your friend's parents are there in the house, so these events are, in effect, chaperoned.

If your father still has concerns, get the phone number of your girlfriend's parents and encourage your father to call them so he can fully understand the situation.

MY UNCLE JUMPS INTO MY CONVERSATIONS INAPPROPRIATELY!

DR. WALLACE: My father is really close to my uncle, his older brother. This uncle comes over to our house a lot, especially on the weekends. He likes to hang out with my dad and do different things, sometimes at our house or sometimes when they go out on an outing together.

I'm a girl who is a high school senior, and at times there are situations where I need to speak to my father about what I'm doing, where I'm going or what's happening. This is both to get permission to attend various events, and just to be polite and answer my father's questions. However, many times this happens within earshot of my uncle, and without fail this uncle will start making remarks and commenting on what I just told my father. I find this highly inappropriate, and I've often wanted to say something, but I've resisted the urge to snap at my uncle or say anything out loud to him in front of my father. I find this really frustrating, and I'm worried that someday I may not be able to hold my tongue. What can I do about this? — It's Not His Discussion, via email

IT'S NOT HIS DISCUSSION: In the future, do your best to seek out your father in advance rather than allowing these conversations to regularly be aired out in such a manner that your uncle can absorb the entire content of what you're discussing with your father.

Perhaps you could preemptively discuss things with your father before your uncle even arrives on a particular weekend.

Finally, let your father know that you sometimes find these conversations in front of your uncle and his retorts to be unsettling and inappropriate but that you have never said anything out loud because you always want to respect your family members and elders. Ask your father to work with you to have your discussions between each other in private as much as possible, and reassure him that you'll answer everything he wants to know fully and completely but would prefer to do this privately. I trust your father, once he's made aware of this situation, will honor your wishes.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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